Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! | Manipulation

Ever since I have been learning more about
language in my role as a hypnotist, I have
found myself much more aware of when people
are talking to me in a manipulative way.

Once I got a call wanting to pitch me
a vacation. I immediately said I wasn't
interested. But then, the person wanted
to at least tell me what I was saying no
to. She offered me a short version.

Since I knew she had a job to do, I thought
I would at least humor her. The way that
the offer was worded was so manipulative,
and didn't even sound like an offer. The
way it was worded there were certain inherent
assumptions.

I laughed.

She asked what was so funny (I could tell
from her tone she didn't get the "humor").
I told her that I was a hypnotist and was
aware of NLP and how a lot of what she was
saying was assumptive. She seemed to have
no idea what I was saying.

I bet she was just reading a script, and
had no idea that she was reading was
manipulative in nature (at least I'll give
her the benefit of the doubt, as many
wouldn't recognize it, either).

At that point there was no point in continuing,
so I politely extracted myself, wished her a
great day, and hung up the phone.

I know there was a time I wasn't aware like I
am now, and was drawn in by how these people
speak. Many times I wasn't happy with my
decision because it wasn't what I really
wanted. I was just manipulated into it.

You can often tell when you are manipulated
into something when you are one, not happy
with your decision and/or two, find yourself
justifying your choice(s).

So the next time you are feeling uncomfortable
with a conversation, take a step back and
consider what is happening. While there could
be many reasons for how you feel, one of them
could be that the person is consciously (or
unconsciously) trying to manipulate you. If
you do that, you may be less likely to react
what is happening or being said.

It is one thing to ask to be manipulated
(such as in someone who is looking to help
you - perhaps like a personal trainer). It
is a totally different other thing when
someone comes along and does it for their
own benefit, and your potential detriment.

Of course, they'll never say it that way,
and of course it's always a good thing for
you...and that is just part of the potential
manipulative ploy that is being played.

Not all things are manipulation, but being
aware and conscious are two things that can
help prevent regret by declining actions
that may not be the right ones for us, in
the face of someone nudging us in a direction
we may not want to go.

At least some manipulation can be
wonderfully pleasant with the right
person. :D But that is for YOU to decide,
not for another to decide for you.

(Can I just say one more time - YUCK!!!)
 

Your Personal Tipping Point

I was once in a relationship that I couldn't
leave. I should have left (and did) many
times. We weren't even married, and yet
I so much wanted it to work out, and it
was to great emotional cost to stay. It
was around the time that things finally
broke up for the last time that I realized
that one could be lonelier in a relationship
than by oneself.

It is difficult for anyone to understand a
dynamic that keeps two unhappy people in
a relationship together. Many who have
never had that dynamic think it is easy
to just walk away. If it was that easy,
many of those I talk to would. Instead,
it seems easier to cover up the wounds
and pretend like everything is OK.

The problem is that the source of the
issue is never addressed, and it can
create new wounds, and coping that way
comes at a greater and greater cost.

Eventually I was able to finally take a
stand for myself, and it took everything
I had to walk away. It just so happened
I got to my personal tipping point. I
had had enough, and I felt that I deserved
more than what I was getting (interestingly
those around me had agreed in that regard
a long time before I ever acted).

No relationship or person will ever be
perfect, but if you aren't able to be
who you are, consciously living a life
that you love, then it might be something
to really look at as it would be akin to
just handing over all of your money to
someone and saying, "Here take all this
money. It's OK if it doesn't belong to
you. I am giving you permission to walk
away with it. I like being trapped here
with you."

By your actions, are you doing things that
are trapping you and limiting your options
in regard to another? If you love someone
and feel that you'd be taking away from them
by separating, there are ways to make
things work at a distance. Sometimes it
it is a loving act to separate.

All too often society will tell us what
we should want, what we should think,
what we should accept. Perhaps all of
the time you have spent unhappy will be
the foundation for a version of you that
can have the happiness deep down you know
you deserve (odds are good you wouldn't
be trying to escape if you didn't think
you deserved more).

It is possible that the lessons we learn
in life are the things that help us to
become the person who is able to be the
kind of person who can be the ideal partner
and attract one. However for that to happen,
there are things to say, and risks to take.

If you are escaping, and feel compromised,
perhaps you can consider that there are
other options. Sometimes hypnosis can
help, too, as it may be able to help you
identify what is unconsciously tying you
to your situation.

If you're willing to go that route...and
want a guide/partner, let's talk. It's
not about me helping you to leave, but
rather assisting you to discover yourself
and what is best for you. When you
discover things you might not have known,
you may even find things shifting in your
current situation.

No one can stand up for you - except you,
and when the time is right for shifts and
changes, you will find your own personal
tipping point, and when you get to the
other side don't be surprised to hear
yourself cheering for who you have become. :)
 

Friends that Disagree

A friend once told me about a time
in college when a long time friend told
him he was going to get married, and
that he wanted my friend to be his Best
Man.

My friend always knew that is what his
friend wanted and intended when the time
came but, in this particular case, he
felt the choice wasn't one that he could
support, and told his friend that if he
married her, he could not be his Best Man.

His friend was pissed. His friend also
is now happily married to someone else,
and has a couple of kids. He chose not
to marry the other woman.

Did my friend have anything to do with
his choice? Who knows what happened
exactly? However, when the conversation
was had my friend pointed to some very
serious issues and considerations and
took a stand for the sake of his friend.

I once watched an interview with Lisa
Marie (Presley) in which she said she
was upset with how those in her dad's
life didn't help him until she realized
that he had (in essence) an "agree
with me" or "get away" attitude. She
also noted that Michael Jackson had a
similar situation as well, surrounding
himself apparently with "yes" men.

While it is important for us to be true
to ourselves, it is also important that
we have friends who will stand up for
us in spite of what the consequences
might be. Someone might stand up and
be wrong in regard to what is indeed
right for us, but that friend might also
be a saving grace in some circumstances.

Who knows what the right balance is, as
it will vary from person to person and
situation to situation, so knowing what
the "right" thing to do falls again on
being connected with oneself and respectful
of another and his/her choices.

We can be at odds and be combative, or we
can be at odds and be respectful. There
is a big difference between the two, and
the difference can make or break a
relationship between people, organizations,
countries.

A challenge to what we believe and what we
want can really suck, but it can also be
the very thing that gets us where we need
to be.

Silencing those who look at things differently
than we do can be one of the greatest things
we can do to cause ourself harm, and so is
being swayed too easily by another's idea of
what is right for us.

Who ever said being human made sense, or
was easy? LOL. But the "funny" thing is
that it is easier than we think it is. It
just so happens that being human often
includes making things complicated.

But...odds are this would never apply
to YOU now, would it? :P
 

You Sounded Annoyed (On Clear Communication)

I was speaking with someone once who hadn't
called in a few months, and the silence had
started after the last call we had.

He remembered what we were talking about, and
suggested that my response at the time had a
feeling of being annoyed attached to it.

When he told me what it was, I told him that
I wasn't annoyed. If he heard anything, it
was just my own internal frustration about
the subject.

He didn't stay away the whole time because of
it, but the misinterpretation is what initially
had him refrain from calling.

I suggested that in the future he confirm with
me his interpretations if they were to affect
our communications. His response was something
to the effect to that it was something akin to
calling someone on something, and how no one
likes that.

While that is true, if we don't communicate what
we suspect, then we'll never know if we're
incorrect. To make matters worse, if we act on
our incorrect notions, then we are creating
another level of the issue.

I could have been annoyed, but so what? He
could have also have asked me if I was, and
I could have lied and said, "No." Perhaps
I could have said no out of denial. Any number
of possibilities would have existed, and do
exist daily, with those we interact with.

A person should be able to get clarification
without the other person being offended or
feeling defensive. A person should also be
able to accept whatever answer is given without
having to push or pry.

This is not to say that if someone lies to you
it's ok, however sometimes people don't know
they're even lying to themselves. We need to
be willing to accept people's honest answers
if we want to encourage them to give them. In
many cases deceit is intentional out of a fear
of some sort of rejection.

We also need to be able to say the things we
need to say. If I had been annoyed I could
have said I was, and explained why or perhaps
have apologized, or just said, "I am sorry but
I just don't want to talk about this right now."

We also need to be able to remain silent at
times, as it allows us to figure things out
without the adding complication of bringing
someone into the drama in our head while at
the same time realizing that the drama might
just be self inflicted.

Being able to have an effective conversation
means being as clear as one can be about what
is being said, or about what is left unsaid.

There are ways to say things in a responsible
manner. For instance in the above regard the
person could have said, "When we were talking
about ___, it sounded to me like you were
annoyed by something I said. Can you tell me
what it was, or tell me if I might have
misinterpreted your reaction?"

Or he could have said, "When we were talking
about ___, you sounded annoyed. Did I say
something to annoy you? If so, I wanted to
apologize, because that certainly was not my
intent."

It's like a dance - one most of us never learned
to do. We might think we know how to communicate
because we interact and talk, but sometimes - many
times - those interactions and words only get in
the way of communication.

We don't need to walk around questioning everything,
but in cases where the meaning may be unclear, it
might be best to refrain from assuming, especially
if it means a further break down of communication or
the furthering of a disagreement.

If you're going to get mad or upset or take something
personally, wouldn't it be better to know that what
you thought was true indeed was instead of something
you made up in your own mind?

(You do know how good
at that you are, don't you?)
 

What a Difference a Degree Makes | Video

This, in my opinion, is an awesome
video on a very simple concept. It
could apply to any number of things.

I know that there are many managers/
business-folk among my callers, so
perhaps this will even be something
you can share with those you work with.

I share it, in part, too because I
can see how it relates to one's
hypnotic experience. It is yet
another way to explain what happens
as one is hypnotized.

Metaphorically someone could be
hypnotized 211 times and on the 212th
time, he could find his environment
radically changed.

Watch the video, and see what you
get out of it, and as always, I'd
love to know what'ya think!

Have a good one.
 

Fear

I was once speaking with someone who had
made a difficult decision after a long delay.

It was nice to be able to help that person
hypnotically, as we've been speaking on and
off for several years now.

One of the interesting things that came up was
the topic of fear. My client came to realize
that they were less comfortable with the fear
of staying in the situation than the fear they
had of the fear of the unknown. As a result,
after a long and trying time (years), this
person reluctantly (and optimistically and
hesitantly) decided to move forward in spite
of the unknown.

It's interesting to note that we are very
often motivated by pain and pleasure. When
someone wants to get us to do something, all
they have to do is make certain that we
focus on the right thing in the correct
measure.

They can either get us to focus on the pleasure,
and draw us in, or have us focus on the pain
(or possibility of pain that we want to avert)
to motivate us in the way they want us to be
motivated. Many sales are based on this idea,
as well as many other aspects of our life.

It doesn't have to be that way - but it takes
being consciously aware to avert the pitfalls
of this type of thing - and that is probably
one of the most difficult things to do in
the situations that are the most emotionally
charged for us.

However, it CAN be done.

I offered to help this person in any way I can
to help support them through the trying
transition, and would likely do the same for
anyone else who really wanted (and would use)
the help. If you're in a predicament, and
could use some support like what I can give
(and if you know me, you know it is likely to
be more than just hypnosis) reach out, and
let's talk.

Nothing is worse than having a problem and
feeling by yourself, not sure where to turn.

 

On Hypnosis Regulation & Finding a Hypnotist

There is often a lot of talk about
Hypnosis and Certification and Licensing.

I find many don't know that there is
no "official" licensing of Hypnosis in
the United States. As a matter of fact,
there is zero Licensing at all.

What there is is Certification, and
various institutions and people will
offer Certifications. However, short
of some research on the Web, it would
be difficult to tell the ones that were
more reputable than others.

There are also state regulations that
will affect those who practice Hypnosis,
and they can vary from state to state,
with California considered by some as
one of the most liberal states of those
who have guidelines (see this page for
Hypnosis Laws in the States).

Last year Indiana, which had the strictest
regulation regarding Hypnosis, altered its
course on who could practice Hypnosis and
what role the state played in its regulation.

I sometimes wonder how Hypnosis could be
regulated. After all, it is everywhere.

The only thing that might be judged would be
a trance state however, hypnosis can happen
even when a person isn't in an induced trance
state. We are in hypnotic (suggestible state)
at least two times a day and likely more,
if stressed.

The only way that people could be unaffected
by another's Hypnosis would be to be completely
isolated.

Hypnosis can happen via "regular" conversation
via IM, via email, via advertising, TV, movies.
It can happen via touch, and without a word
being said. It can happen pretty much anywhere
at any time, and those who would do it for
nefarious means would be the ones that would
likely do it without the legislation of license.

Some of the worst examples of things that have
happened to people have happened from those who
just have learned what "works" without learning
necessarily that it is "Hypnosis."

As with anything, there is another side of the
coin. While some would believe that a licensed
person is a person who knows what they're doing,
that isn't always the case.

In the case of Hypnosis, I know of examples of
those who have gone in person to see highly
credentialed professionals (in other helping
professions) certified in Hypnosis who could
not hypnotize them/help them obtain what they
desired hypnotically, and yet I was able to
hypnotize them over the phone effectively.

This is not to say I am great, but rather that
results will vary depending on the individual
style and skill of the Hypnotist, and how it
interacts with the person being hypnotized.

To take this a step further, people can fake
their credentials. (I know that is hard to
believe, but still...). So when you are
looking for a hypnotist, and going by their
certifications and training, how do you know
who the best person is to turn to, and
potentially turn your mind over to? What
about the person who doesn't tout their labels?
Is that person any good?

I know you may like for me to give you "THE"
answer, the one that makes it totally clear,
and takes away any questions or doubts or
concerns because "THIS THING" is the thing
you KNOW you can trust, know, and believe in.

Well...

You may not like the answer I have to give,
and then again, it may be THE one, and only
one you need.

It is the one that I often point to when
speaking with people, and especially a first
time caller wondering if he should proceed.

Ready?

The answer is a question.

What does YOUR GUT say?

I think I just heard a "ugh," or two.

You know how your gut tells you things?
Sometimes you listen, and sometimes you don't,
and later you're sorry that you didn't listen?

That is the part of you that you need to listen
to in every facet of life, and especially in the
world of Hypnosis, and even more so in the world
of erotic Hypnosis. Anyone can tell you anything,
and you gotta have that BS Detector on when you
read the things said, hear the words said, and
whenever you interact in any way with the person.

Does it feel "right" to you?
Do you think this is a good choice for you?
Does it do more than turn you on?
Are you reacting to what is said? If so,
how does it feel? Is there a part of you
that is wanting to stop?

If anything feels "off," you may chalk it up to
fear or uncertainty, however you must be very
careful about that. All a reasonably good
hypnotist needs is one time with you to get to
you in a way that won't work for you, and even
a not so good one could affect someone detrimentally
that is highly suggestible (an example of which
could be someone who has been a successful
stage show participant).

Some people may even think they're not hypnotizeable,
when in actuality, they may not have yet been
exposed to how hypnootizeable they truly are by
an effective hypnotic technique.

Not all hypnotists are created equal. Not all
styles are effective for all people. The hypnotic
journey can be an organic one for many...a discovery
of what works, and what doesn't.

Whoever you choose will be an important part of
that process. I suggest you choose wisely and
with caution. The possibilities can take you down,
or build you up, and it may not be up to you which
way it goes.

It's More Than Just Words...

Ron Howard has a new movie coming out called The Dilemma.

Recently there was a big brouhaha regarding a scene in
the trailer in which Vince Vaughn's character talks
about a car being so "gay."

The trailer came out about the same time that there were
many news items about gay youth dying. As a result, the
studio decided to cut the scene from the trailer.
Apparently it was/is up to Ron Howard as to whether or
not the lines stay in the movie at all.

I read today that after much reflection and consultation,
he has decided to keep them in. Among the reasons, it
is an adult movie. While it could be argued that if it
somehow reinforces an adult's view on the topic, it
could trickle down to the youth. After all, where do
youth get their beliefs generally speaking?

However, in addressing some of the issues around the
topic and the film, Ron makes some valid points. I
admire him for the way he looks at the stand he has
taken.

If we are so sensitive as to edit all language that we
find objectionable in the media, it doesn't mean it
will go away, and it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Might it be better to paint the pictures that we
paint, and then address them instead of pretending
like they don't exist?

So many times, people want to act as if something is
not an issue, so they want to hush it, ignore it,
try to push it away...but it still lurks. Interestingly,
when things are pushed down and away, it is like a
fertilizer, and instead of killing it off, there is
a good chance it is actually going to be fed.

The more we try to push things down, put them off,
push them away, the more likely we will be to have
to deal with them - on a bigger scale - later.

I would suggest that the language - the words -
are getting in the way of the REAL problem and issue.
The words are often a symptom, and the best thing
we can do is to address the cause. Behind words
are meanings that need to be addressed so that the
words either take on a new meaning, or cease to
be an issue.

Unfortunately, ceasing to use them in a certain
manner alone does not address the cause, and
therefore doesn't resolve the problem. If only
it was that easy. I know few who would say that
was the case, and yet as we draw energy, time,
resources to addressing the words, the problem
continues.

Like many issues we face today, it is difficult to
address them completely in their complexity. I
am only adding my few cents to the mix. If we
could get to a better place by accepting ourselves,
loving ourselves, and learning to communicate
effectively, with a respect for others I suspect
we'd go a long way in getting to the place that
some people try to correct with superficial fixes.

The thing is, though, we have an outward type of
culture that makes it very difficult to go within
and confront ourselves. It is easier to blame
someone else and address their issues, instead of
dealing with our own.

Yes. It sucks. And it also is the best hope we
have to help ourselves, or anyone else. If
something is troubling you, consider taking a
moment to figure out what you are addressing
and, if at all possible, address the cause.
You'll have a much better chance of using your
time, energy, and resources in a beneficial way.
 

The Time is Now

In the midst of what is going on with
my friend's dad, this poem was shared.

Apparently the author is the prolific
Anon Y. Mous

The Time is Now

If you are ever going to love me,
Love me now, while I can know
The sweet and tender feelings
Which from true affection flow,
Love me now while I am living,
Do not wait until I'm gone
And then have it chiseled in marble,
Sweet words on ice-cold stone.
If you have tender thoughts of me,
Please tell me now.
If you wait until I'm sleeping,
Never to awaken,
There will be death between us,
and I won't hear you then.
So, if you love me, even a little bit,
Let me know it while I am living
So I can treasure it.

Perhaps this will inspire you to
tell someone how you feel about
them...if they're anything like
me, it may be something that is
already known, but in the words
come the "real" meat.

And, sadly, sometimes while one
may think it is "known," people
don't realize what they mean to
others, and the words can make
all the difference (think: It's
A Wonderful Life).

Every day can be a special day
of Love and Appreciation, not
just holidays on the calendar.

Have a great day!
 

Jon Stewart: A Beacon of Sanity | Video

Ask Men says that Jon Stewart is
the Most Influential Man of 2010.

I'd like to say (as odd as that
may seem to some) that is good
news, given what is being
expressed by him.

He has some very wise words that
I think have a balanced, sane
sound to them. It is a message
that I can only hope that people
can hear.

Today he had a rally in DC, and
I thought some of what he had to
say quite profound. The video
below has his closing words.

Two quotes of particular note
for me were:

"If we amplify everything,
we hear nothing."

"The inability to distinguish
terrorists from Muslims makes
us less safe, not more."

I like how he breaks things apart
that have been unhelpfully
collapsed together.

If you haven't seen it, consider
taking the time and watching/
listening and see what you
might get from it, and share
with others.

He mentions nothing of hypnosis,
and yet what he describes is
hypnosis in action. When we
are hypnotized, we are paying
attention to what the hypnotist
wants us to see and experience.
As a result, our experience
becomes limited by the hypnotist's
focus, awareness, and direction.

(Interesting to note that the
first letter of each one of those
words creates the word FAD: defined
by Wikipedia "as any form of
behavior that develops...and is
collectively followed with
enthusiasm for some period..."
It's generally considered fleeting,
and is considered an alternative to
a trend which is more enduring.)

And it would seem these days that
we as a culture are quite
mesmerized, and not necessarily
by the things that do us good.

I am glad to see someone who is
doing and saying things that can
empower and engage doing his
best to awaken those in trance.

Things that happen in trance can
become real life realities if
reinforced over time. Good
hypnosis becomes who you are,
and is no longer what you do.

It might be good if all of the
"insanity" that Jon believes has
been present is more of a fad
than a trend. But only time
will tell. I know I am voting
for a fad.

What about you?

What do you think?

 

I Suppose This is Supposed to Be a Good Thing..

I went to Subway today for the first time in
a very long time.

I don't know if all Subways are doing what
this one is, but I don't find it appealing
in any shape, way, or form.

I can venture a guess as to why some may
say what they're doing is a good thing, but
there is not one reason that I can think of
out of those possibilities that out weighs
(in my mind) what they are in some ways a
substitution for.

What is this "thing?"

It is a touch screen machine that takes
your order. You tell the machine what you
want, and then you go pay someone at the
register for your order.

I won't be surprised if one day we walk
into a place and never have to interact
with another human being to do what we
need to do.

That will be a very sad day.

Some might say it is good in the guise
of efficiency, or in some way more
accurate (more like if there is a problem,
the person doing the transaction is to
blame, as they're the only one around).

For a long time now phone systems have
become like that. It is difficult to
get a human being to transact with.

I am under the impression that people may
have liked it at first, but I don't know
too many at the moment who do.

Like many things, our appreciation is
greater when the thing appreciated is lost.
I would rather not appreciate the value of
human interaction only after is has gone
the way of the dinosaur.

Yes. That may be a bit dramatic, but
sometimes the reality might be a lot closer
to the drama than we realize. Whether we
want to admit it, or not, our ability to
relate and interact in person is slipping.

Is it something we can afford to lose?
 

Should I be who you want me to be? | Video

I suspect in regard to this video,
and the actions Lebron has taken,
there would be many who would say
"Yes" without blinking. But, put
them in a similar position and
odds are good they wouldn't want
someone telling them who to be
or what to do.


 

Thinking for Oneself

Today I was reading Seth Godin's Blog. There is
a thought FULL man if there ever was one.

He was talking about a willful type of ignorance
that is fostered by the current media environment
that would seem to discourage people from thinking
for themselves. It would seem sometimes easier
to have someone else decide what is best.

Now, of course we can't all be experts in all
things, but it would seem to me that thinking
for one's self is something that would make sense,
even if it was at times time consuming or
confrontational.

Experts will say they know what's what. However,
I found it interesting that Niels Henrik David Bohr
says that an expert is someone "who has made all
the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field."

How does one know when that occurs? I'd be willing
to bet there are people who call themselves experts
who haven't yet made every conceivable mistake,
which means that there may be people who would be
on the receiving end of an incorrect presumption.

In the current culture, "experts" are a dime a dozen.
So-called experts you will find will also disagree
on the points of one's study and profession. How
does one know that the advice they are being given
is as golden as the expert would like you to believe
it to be?

You don't.

And that is why it is important for us to pay attention
and ask questions and learn and grow and explore,
constantly. There is an endless amount of information
"out there" and it won't always be easy to tell which
piece is the "correct" one cognitively.

But asking questions is a good place to start, and
having "gut" checks is another method for decision
making. The more we tune into our gut and use it, and
the more information that we cull from, the more likely
we are to know what course of direction is the best
one to take.

Despite an expert's best intention, it may be prudent
to add, the expert is human, and human beings tend to
have times when they are fallible and will make
mistakes. Sometimes we won't know better to prevent
it, but there will be other times that we might just
be able to do or say the right thing to save further
difficulty or heartache - if - we are willing to
question the person doing the talking. And that will
mean we'll have to do some of the thinking for ourself.
As powerful as it can be to think for oneself, I hope
it's not as unique as some would think it to be,
and that it doesn't hurt too much for those that do it.
:P

(Sorry, the smart ass in me has to come out sometimes).
 

Legislating the Symptom | Video

In this video there is someone who
is advocating sending parents to jail for
3 days in Michigan if they do not attend
Parent Teacher Conferences. To be "fair"
to the topic, apparently the action will
be a last resort option only, and will
have certain exceptions.

I find a few things interesting about this
interview. The woman who is being interviewed
makes the comment about how many say we
shouldn't legislate morality, but then goes
on to say that we already do as a form of
defense for doing it yet again.

Just because we do something, does it mean
we should do it again? Somehow there seems
to me to be a fault in that logic, even
though I know that our courts work on just
those types of arguments.

We seem to value what has come before,
but we also seem to cherry pick what
we value, based on whatever it is that
we seek to create in the present.

This particular school district is doing
their own form of cherry picking from
the past to attempt to legislate the
actions they deem best, as a RE-action
to behaviors they think are problematic.

Behaviors that are moderated often don't
help when the cause remains untouched.
In one interview in the piece a woman
says if the law gets involved it might
give people an incentive to act. While
I wouldn't necessarily disagree, there is
a bigger issue at hand that will remain,
even if the law is enacted.

Reacting to an issue isn't the same as
taking actions which focus on the source
of an issue. If parents aren't involved
with their kids' schooling, there could be
a number of issues that prevent it, and
those who just aren't interested in taking
part won't necessarily be making different
choices if threatened with a jail term.
One just has to look at the already
crowded jails to know that the threat of
incarceration isn't much of a deterrent
for what some segment of society considers
undesirable behavior.

There is a much bigger issue here, and
attempting to lawfully regulate something
that is already not working, based on what
has occurred in the past, with a disregard
for the cause of what is occurring in this
moment, could quite possibly make matters
worse.

What would this issue look like if those
who cared to make a difference stopped
reacting and stepped back and looked at
things for what they are, and made decisions
based on what could really make a difference
instead of affecting a superficially acceptable
outcome?

It might be worth considering that the video
says that the children who seem to do best
have involved parents. A parent forced into
taking an action like the one suggested does
not an involved parent make.
 

Why Do Things Happen as They Do?

Sometimes things that can be terrible tragedies
can create openings for things that are their
total opposite.

There is a story about a couple who met at an
anniversary event of the Lockerbie bombing,
and who got married in August.  They
were both children when they lost a parent
on the plane. Odds are likely pretty good that
neither parent knew the other, and they would
never have met, had the even not occurred.

From the sound of the article, there are other
close knit relationships that have come from
the resulting bonding.  It is difficult for me
to comprehend why certain things happen as they
do, and I can't help but wonder if there are
other ways that things could happen.  As much
as those people likely cherish the relationships
formed, I am sure they likely would have
preferred their loved ones still be here.

(This conversation reminds me of the movie
Sliding Doors.  Ever see it?  If not, if I had
a list of recommended movies, this one would
most certainly be on it.  It may make you think,
so don't watch it if you're wanting to avoid
having to think. ;)

In it you get to see the main character (Gwyneth
Paltrow) live out her life in two different ways,
one based on her catching a train, the other with
her missing it.  There are two Gwenyth's that know
nothing of the trials and tribulations of the
other.) 

There are times that we are very much aware of
what pain we have in our life, and perhaps the
thing in instances like that is that within
life there is both joy and sorrow, and we can
choose to focus on either one. 

That above mentioned couple chooses to focus
on their love, while still acknowledging what
has come before - and even building upon it. 
I don't imagine that sorrow and pain are meant
to be ignored or forgotten, and we'll likely
never know why things happen as they do.

And since events that we can't control, and
will possibly never understand, are likely to
continue to occur, it probably is not what
happens as much as what we do in relation to
what happens that matters.   As a result, our
actions and how we interact with the events
will ultimately make the difference in how we
experience life and what comes next.