Brighter than the Sun | Video

Here's a catchy song to start your weekend
off with. In addition, it is my wish for
anyone who may be struggling in a relationship,
or without one. We all deserve to have the
wonderful feelings that love shares with us.



Enjoy.
 

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Grabbing onto the Moment | Video

I have come to really appreciate country music in
the last few months. Some have said country doesn't
sound so country these days. Maybe that is why
something I never used to pay much attention to
now has my interest.

Any which way, I do feel that country songs have a
lot to say. The video below is about not letting
something slip through your fingers. The video is
about a man and a woman, but it is a message that
could apply more broadly to opportunities in your
life.

See what you think.

As She's Walking Away - Zac Brown Band - Zac Brown Band Videos

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The Only Worry in the World... | Video

I love this line...

"The only worry in the world
is the tide gonna
reach my chair"

Wouldn't it be great if we
had a world that was even
remotely close to being that?

Here's to all of those
wonderful get lost,
peaceful moments.



Want one of your own?
Call me!
 

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If this is true | Video

If this video is of something that isn't fake
(as some claim), it is pretty cool. However
it makes me wonder, if they can do "anything,"
can they do people, too?



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It's Relative | Video

Much of our experience of life
comes from the perspective(s) we have.

Idiots with Zoe Saldana & Kate Bosworth from Zoe Saldana

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Fix It | Video

So often we go looking to someone else to
"fix" things for us, or tell us how to
fix it for ourselves.

There are a few problems with this, as
first of all, who says a fix is needed?

Secondly, who says another's fix will
work for us?

There are so many people making money
these days by telling others about the
ultimate of fixes. It could be financial,
to lose weight, to stop stress, to be
successful. You name it.

People are told that the way to make
money is to fix another person's problem.
The problem is that if those fixes truly
worked then there really would be no more
problem to fix. Besides, you have to
show/convince them they have a problem
first.

And yet, there is book after book, video
after video, guru after guru telling you
how best to be and live your life. Those
who do the best job making it seem like
they're fixing your problem will likely
get your attention, but they also might
be a part of your disappointment when
it doesn't work, or part of your
rationalization when it doesn't work,
"I must have done it wrong," "what's
wrong with me, it didn't work, but it
did for others."

What if there was nothing wrong in
the first place? What if the failure
really was a lack of acknowledging
the self while paying attention to
another?

Those who will tell you the answer is
within you will likely frustrate the
hell out of you if you are in a place
of "I haven't got a clue!" At least
that is what has happened to me on more
than one occasion.

There have been times I have been desperate
for an answer, but there was no one who
could give it to me. The worst thing
someone can do for me is to try to give
me an answer that isn't for me. Ever
have that experience? You often know
what the answer is not, even if you don't
know what it IS.

Sometimes I think I give people the impression
that I know a lot, and perhaps I do. But
there are so many questions I have myself
about the things in life that just don't
seem to work.

What I am coming to realize is that we've
been hypnotized into believing that there
is an answer for everything. We have been
hypnotized to believe that things that don't
seem to work need to be fixed. We have been
hypnotized to believe that where we are in
this moment is not the right one, when in
actuality, it might be the perfect one.

Yes there are ways to look at things that
can help us move and do and be different -
if that is what WE want to do. But maybe
the key is to know - at least in some small
way - when it is a time to be in that place,
and bathe in it. Maybe we are exactly
where and how we need to be to get exactly
what we need. Some of the more challenging
times of my life have become some of my
greatest gifts.

In the midst of something you are struggling
with no one is going to be able to tell you
"this is a gift," and you suddenly are going
to go,"Oh, yes. You are right. I need to
be different now." If you did, the gift
would never arrive, as it is the process of
working through wherever you are at that
moment that will be the gift, and it is
nothing that anyone can give you.

Perhaps the key is to know that within you
is the answer, but to use those things outside
of yourself as guides. Go ahead and listen
to people, and read books, and view videos,
and listen in a way that you measure it
against who you are and who you think you
want to be. See if what another says rings
true for you, or if it seems to be at conflict.
Bounce it around, play with it, and see what
you come with. Maybe your Slot A is best
filled with Tab D. Maybe Liquid X mixed
with Liquid Y is volatile.

Maybe life is about learning to listen to
ourselves, and learning about ourselves.
Maybe the best way to learn is to have
those things we can compare and contrast
ourselves with. How in the world could
something outside of us know the answer
better than something inside of us? It
doesn't really make any sense, does it?
And yet countless times, without thinking,
we will find ourselves letting someone
else guide us to a place that may not
ultimately be to our benefit.

Maybe it is time that we were willing to
take a look at things in a different way.

Maybe it is time to consider that who and
how we are is the person that we need to
be, and that who we do become will be a
person that is built upon the foundation
we have built with all of its cracks and
seeming imperfections.

Maybe it is time to consider that all
answers aren't immediate, and that some
take more time and patience than we want
to have, or think we should have.

Maybe it is time to let ourselves flounder
a bit; perhaps jumping into things isn't
helping us, but rather taking us away
from the things we need to learn.

Maybe a possible mistake we make is thinking
that someone knows us better than we
know ourselves.

Maybe who we are is just perfect,
and perhaps we can let ourselves
relax, just a little.

And, maybe...

What I have written doesn't do anything
for you at all. Maybe you think otherwise,
and it works for you. If so, it sounds
perfect to me. :)

Last, but not least, here is a bit of
humor on the "fixit" mentality. I think
it speaks to what is really going on
under the surface of the illusion that
we always know how and what to fix and
how best to fix it.



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Beautiful the Way You Are | Video

I was reading an article about how The Voice
is the Anti Idol. It raised some interesting
points, and as I thought about it, I came to
a few of my own thoughts about how the two
shows are in many ways representative of how
we "do" life.

In many ways Idol is how we try to manipulate life,
and how we try to get it to fit into the boxes
and labels we want it to be.

The Voice seems to say, "This is who I am. Take
me or leave me." Interestingly, it seems as though
people are taking to those who are making it into
the finals.

It seems to be one of the paradoxes of life that
we try to make everything fit so neatly, and yet
when we can truly be who we are, and see those
being who they truly are, there is a connection
that can be made that can't be manufactured.

I would bet that The Voice is successful (at
least in part) because despite the fact that
it doesn't "fit" the perfect mold, what it
does fit, in some way, is who we aspire to be
without the pressures to be something and
someone we are not.

The following video is one of the contestants
with a song about perspective. See what you
think:



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Gee...Wonder what they were thinking... | Video

when they made this commercial.



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Happy Father's Day! | video

As I sit here and write this, I find
myself wondering what my father would
have thought of what I do for a living.

If it wasn't for him, odds certainly
say I wouldn't be here, or at the
very least, wouldn't be who and how
I am as everything that we are and
are not has everything to do with
those who parent us.

Relationships with others are a
mixed bag, and for some there may
be a father figure that one can
appreciate, even if you don't share
the same genetic material.

To those who have a reason to
acknowledge this day, I hope
you have a wonderful day with
your kids and/or your "dad."

And to anyone who reads this, a
special thank you in spirit goes
from me to your dad for his making
a place for you in the world.

I have to believe the world is
benefitted in some way by your
contribution to - and presence
in - it. (If by any chance
you don't believe that, then we
should certainly speak!)
 

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Communication Can Be Tricky | Video

Communication can be tricky. A person could know
exactly what s/he means, but it can come off
sounding like something completely different to
another.

Do you know what is being sung about in this song?



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On Changes, Focus and Belief | Video

This is a video well worth the few minutes
it will take to watch, especially if you
are contemplating change - or are in the
midst of changes.

The Taraval Tunnel

Let me know what you think.
 
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This is too cute | Video

This should be good for a laugh.

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Understanding is Difficult but Judgment is so Easy | Video

Did you ever watch Rhianna speak about
her experience with Chris Brown?

While it is old news at this point,
I believe there are things to pull
from what she says and what happened
that is helpful for others.




There were many things that struck me about
what she said, but there was one thing in
particular that stood out. She says she
was embarrassed that she fell in love with
"that" type of person.

What I have found in calls with my clients
is that many define love a certain way -
one with conditions attached. In the world
of Love, many times Love gets confused with
actions or lack of thereof.

Love is Love. Abuse is Abuse.

They are two separate things. You can totally
Love someone who has abused you, you just don't
have to stay with them. However, when Love
gets collapsed with actions, the leaving part
isn't so easy.

Human beings often merge things together, and
they become one. It takes the ability to
alter one's perspective to be able to see the
parts that make up the whole.

Love isn't something we have, but it is
something we have access to through our
interpretations of acts and things. How we
experience Love is an interpretive dance,
one in which our interpretations will
take us to the places or great joy,
or potential sadness. The place we get
caught is believing that Love=those things.

If I was to speak to Rhianna, and she'd want
to know what I thought, I'd tell her:

Love the fact that you could share Love.
It is an incredible gift.

Love that you can now separate the feeling
of Love from how it is represented.

Since the way it was represented was harmful
to you, Love that you were able to take a
different action.

Love yourself. You are not stupid, as some
might say or believe, nor do you have any
reason to be embarrassed. Like you said,
you are a human being, and human beings tend
to do things that aren't always understood.
Ironically, some of the choices we make that
wind up causing pain are meant to take care
of us.

We think we're supposed to know it all, and
have it all handled. Our ego is great for that.
However if you look at life, it seems that it
isn't meant to be seamless. Take what you
can from this situation, and do your best to
focus on what helpful things can (or have)
come from it.

Love Love. To feel any other way about Love
is to have is to still have it collapsed with
other things. Love is a beautiful thing.

I realize that in the midst of pain it is
difficult to see much else, and painful
situations are so much easier on the outsider
who always seems to have an answer.

Situations like yours are never easy, and
neither are the answers, and no one will ever
fully understand why you did what you did
or what happened, but that won't stop many
from judging. I am sorry for the pain of
their judgments, and how they can mess
with you.

If they would take a step back they might
realize that even though they don't
understand you or your situation, they have
had times when they've been uncomfortably on
the receiving end of another's judgment.

Thank you for sharing where you've been. In
my experience it is helpful when someone
steps outside of the mask that many wear while
in the world.

To anyone reading who might be struggling in
a relationship, or just struggling in general
(feelings like these aren't exclusive to
situations like this one) odds are you, too,
are doing things that are unconsciously guiding
you for your own good. If you want to make a
change, and don't know how, have you considered
hypnosis? It is one of the best ways to tap
the part of you that is making the choices, and
help it to make new ones.

You CAN break destructive habits and behaviors.

To learn more about hypnosis, please visit
DeeperAndDeeper.com.

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Working with your Strengths | Video

The following video is about a dog and
the human who set out to make it something
it wasn't meant to be.

As you will see, that person came to
realize the beauty in allowing the
dog to be something closer to what
its own personality is.

How many times do we try to force
things? and to what result?



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Let the Sun Shine In | Video

There used to be someone in my life that
I called "Sunshine."

That person did so much for me. Our
interactions were soul full, and
inspirational, and it was an amazing
connection that we shared.

I am reminded of this today, as this
song was going through my head.



The song reminds me of the bittersweet
feeling of the memories, as that is
all I now have, but it is also a
reminder to allow others to be my
sunshine, and to let them into my
heart and world as well.

Sometimes when things don't work out
as we would like, it is all too easy
to give up, abandon ship, and close
ourselves off. Let this song be a
reminder to you, as well.

I am certain that we can all have
lots of sun shining in our lives
through the gifts of those who are
in them - whether it is for a
moment, or a lifetime.

Have a great night.
 

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Maybe you can relate? | Video

In the following song about a relationship
that ended is the lyric, "I know my heart
will never be the same, but I'm telling
myself I'll be okay."

I think it is interesting to consider that
one's heart not being the same is something
of concern. Yes we get disappointed and
sad, and our heart breaks, and our heart
will never be the same, but it is those
experiences that give us some of our more
precious gifts.

We learn about ourselves, we learn what
we want, don't want, what we are willing
to put up with. We gain invaluable
experience. Our experiences create a
heart that is an artwork that is a work
in progress.

There is much about love and relationships
that make no sense. In a world in which
many people want to control and understand
things, works of heart certainly can
wreak their own kind of havoc.

Sara also talks about "getting stronger."
I would say that could be interpreted in
more than one way. In one regard it could
be getting stronger and better able to get
past what hurts. In another, it could also
be that our experiences have a way of making
us stronger as a person as a whole.

Sometimes it is the layers though that
give a work its character, and if you let
them, they will make life more beautiful
than ever before, and you will find a
better love than you ever imagined.

As always, a lot more easily said than
done - especially in the midst of
heartbreak. However, as sucky as the
moment may seem...one way or another
life goes on one breath at a time.


 

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"Every day you don't do what's right... | Video

is a day that you've lost an option."
- quote from the following video

This video is quite profound.

I am certain there are those who would
make contrary arguments. I have to
wonder what is "true" in any regard.
How do we know if what is presented
here is true?

The fact is, we really don't.

However, something I would consider
equally factual is the fact that
since it could be true, it wouldn't
hurt us to consider that what is
being said is true, and find other
ways of doing things.

See what you think.

 

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Zero & Value: Perspective | Video

Some would say zero is nothing, worthless.

Nissan put together a fabulous commercial
for their LEAF electric car.

Whether or not the car interests you, the
idea behind it can go for almost anything:
whatever you believe something to be can
be relative.

Recently someone was asking for help.
Many people were saying they were in no
position to help. I made the point that
if helping was their desire, even $1
would work.

We often forget that things can add up.
There are some who would be happy to
get $1 here, a $1 there because they
know that those dollars can add up
to money in their pocket.

They have a perspective that might
put a few more dollars in their account
than someone who doesn't value those
smaller amounts that come their way.

It is difficult to remember that there
is more than just the one perspective
we experience. It isn't always
convenient to recognize another
perspective, either. However there
are times that remembering it might
just give us the advantage we need.

If you haven't seen the LEAF commercial,
here it is:


 

You'd never be wrong, but if you were.... | Video

In this video Kathryn distinguishes what it
is to be wrong, and how we usually relate
to those who don't agree with us when we
think we are right.

There are things she says that, in my
experience, seem to hold truer than most
of us would like. At the same time there
is a great deal of love and optimism for
who we are as "human."

See what you think.

 

The Greatest Thing | Video | Music

A friend of mine shared this song with me
a few years ago. As old as the song is,
it seems timeless in its message.

A contestant from American Idol pulled it
out and dusted it off for people who likely
never heard it before last night.

Hearing about the news is what reminded me
about it.

In addition, kudos to Casey for sticking to
his guns and going with what felt right to
him. Yes it was atypical, and that is
likely what was so great about it.

It says a lot about the greatness that can
come from going with the beat of our own
inner drummer, or outer bass (LOL).

Of course, the true verdict remains to be
seen with the voting, but I gotta believe
regardless of the outcome, he is sitting
in a better place for it.

For some it will be about the trophy,
which does have its own rewards, but for
others winning is about the reward of
finding oneself and the valuable things
that come along with that - things that
no one else can give you which, for that
reason, may just be inherently more
valuable.

If you haven't heard the song,
here's your opportunity.



and Casey's Version