Brighter than the Sun | Video

Here's a catchy song to start your weekend
off with. In addition, it is my wish for
anyone who may be struggling in a relationship,
or without one. We all deserve to have the
wonderful feelings that love shares with us.



Enjoy.
 

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Perspective on Points of View | Quote

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Grabbing onto the Moment | Video

I have come to really appreciate country music in
the last few months. Some have said country doesn't
sound so country these days. Maybe that is why
something I never used to pay much attention to
now has my interest.

Any which way, I do feel that country songs have a
lot to say. The video below is about not letting
something slip through your fingers. The video is
about a man and a woman, but it is a message that
could apply more broadly to opportunities in your
life.

See what you think.

As She's Walking Away - Zac Brown Band - Zac Brown Band Videos

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The Only Worry in the World... | Video

I love this line...

"The only worry in the world
is the tide gonna
reach my chair"

Wouldn't it be great if we
had a world that was even
remotely close to being that?

Here's to all of those
wonderful get lost,
peaceful moments.



Want one of your own?
Call me!
 

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On Love Language & Life

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Don't Feed the Animals

A friend of mine was telling about a visit
to some of our national parks. He told me
that park rangers were telling visitors
not to feed the animals, and they were
explaining why it was not a good idea.

The reasons had to do with what might not
seem obvious, but are detrimental and
undesirable results.

1. If bears and other threatening animals
were to get used to human food, they would
come after it more, and come closer to
humans that they could hurt. When that
happens, apparently they have to shoot the
animals. Not to mention that people have
been hurt/attacked because bears are
comfortable around people, and are looking
for food.

2. If birds that feed off of seeds in
trees were being fed by humans they wouldn't
do their "thing" with the seeds that ultimately
helps the forest to continue, as part of it
has to do with seeds that wind up planted and
growing into new trees.

3. If the animals get used to being fed
human food they will not do what they need
to do to survive the winter, when humans
are not around to feed them. They become too
dependent on a behavior that is short sighted,
and will ultimately cost them their life.

In addition, human food is not good for the
animals, any way.

People who visit the parks are told these
things, and then guess what many of them do.

They feed the animals!

It seems to me a bit like how our unconscious
and conscious minds work. We may know something
is not in our best interest, but we do it any
way because there is something about what it is
that gives us something (very much in the way that
feeding the animals gives us something, it also
takes away something in the process).

It also occurs to me that when we are challenged
it helps us to grow. If someone makes it easy
on us, we may not do what we need to do to grow
ourselves or be able to do what we need to do
when we need to do it.

Some might even encourage dependence for some
self serving reason that could be conscious or
unconscious. From everything in life we get
something. If we didn't get it, we wouldn't
do it.

Maybe it pays to take a step back every now and
again and see what we are doing that might not
be so great for us or those we love. Then, if
we do recognize something that might be worth
changing, considering doing something about it
before we are attacked or die (metaphorically
speaking, of course).

We like to act like things don't matter. But
we could be wrong. We could be very wrong.
Is the cost of our self centered actions
based on little more than arrogance - and
potential denial - worth it?

This is not to say that everyone is this way
in regard to everything. But every day there
is news of those things that didn't matter
having adverse effects for those who are near
enough to be affected. One might think if
they're not near, they're safe. But we're all
connected, and sooner or later the effect could
trickle down. So why not reconsider some of
our assumptions and make some changes before
it's too late to know what "suddenly" hit us?

I don't know about you, but it saddens me to
see that collectively in some way, every day
we are whittling away the world with our shrugs
and myopic vision. And yes, some may say otherwise,
but tell me: is it an argument worth winning when
it may often be difficult to tell the effects of
today's actions today, and tomorrow may be too late?

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Discord & Love | Quote

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Love & Detours

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If this is true | Video

If this video is of something that isn't fake
(as some claim), it is pretty cool. However
it makes me wonder, if they can do "anything,"
can they do people, too?



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When it Rome...?

I was reading an article about how NYC has
a rule about signage being in English that
hasn't really been enforced. However now
they feel it would be to the benefit of
those in the neighborhoods and in the fire
and police services to have the signage in
a way that can be understood by those who
speak English.

It raises an on-going question about language
in this country. I remember walking through
a part of Queens in the NYC area called Astoria
a few years back, and you wouldn't have known
you were in the US. It was (and maybe still
is?) a VERY Greek neighborhood.

Another time I was on the subway, and I over-
heard approximately 4 conversations on my
ride, none of which were English, all of which
were different. At the time I marveled at how
all of these people from different places
could come together in a place like NYC.

I also spent some time in Europe at one point
and was around people who didn't speak English.
While I appreciated those who did, I tried to
learn a few words to be able to communicate in
the language of the land.

While I know there are some who might take
great objection to what I am about to say,
it seems to me that when in Rome, one should
do as the Romans do. Or, in this case, when
in America, do as the Americans do.

Of course, there will be some who will say
they are American, and not speak much English
at all. However, the country as we know it was
founded with English speakers, and has had English
as a predominant language for quite some time.

At the core of what I believe is a necessity
for us to be able to communicate effectively
with one another. If I was going to go live
in France, I would expect to learn the
language so I would know and understand
what was going on, and how to communicate
with others.

It just makes sense to me that we have a
difficult enough time communicating with
each other in the same language we don't
need added complications of different
languages.

I am not saying that people should forget their
own language, or stop speaking it, but when
out amongst others, it would be really great
if we had some way to communicate effectively
without having to go through hoops and
legislative and politically correct dances.

As with anything I say, my mind is open to
other possibilities. I just don't know what
they are at the moment, and present my case
based on my own experience and perspective
as well as a desire to be able to communicate
with those around me.

Interestingly, when I was in a Home Depot in
California, I was looking for something, and
couldn't find it. I asked someone for help,
and he only spoke Spanish. I could have
found someone else, but I was attempting to
step up to the challenge, and was seeing if
I could communicate in Spanish what I needed.

I was unsuccessful, and also grateful that
there was someone I could speak with and
effectively communicate what I needed.

As a tool, I'd say language has an ability to
either pull us apart or help us come together,
and it isn't so much the language itself as it
is those who use it.

If those who use language had more of a desire
to be able to be understood by (and to understand)
others, I think we could find a way to make things
work without having to resort to the negativity
that surrounds this topic. When living in the
NYC area, I had friends who spoke Spanish.
Occasionally I would try to speak to them in
their language (to help me keep what I knew and
learn more) and at times we'd speak English, and
I'd help them to better learn the language.

In this country we have freedom, and perhaps it
is in part because we are able to have a common
and understood (well, mostly) framework in which
to work. If we can't understand each other,
how well can it work, really?

I find sometimes that divisions only divide us.
I am not saying we shouldn't appreciate our
differences, but when we come together it would
seem to be to our benefit to be able to find
a workable middle ground, and that doesn't
always mean we'll be balanced. Sometimes it,
like any relationship, will seem to favor one
or the other party. Done right, though, the
resulting balancing act will be to the benefit
of all.

At least in my opinion. What's yours?

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It's Relative | Video

Much of our experience of life
comes from the perspective(s) we have.

Idiots with Zoe Saldana & Kate Bosworth from Zoe Saldana

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Have you found joy in your life?

Recently I watched the movie The Bucket List.

In it, there was a scene in which there was
a discussion about what Egyptian's believed
happened when you got to heaven. Apparently
it is believed that two questions are asked,
the answers of which determined whether or
not you would be admitted to heaven:

Have you found joy in your life?
Has your life brought joy to others?

It's an interesting set of questions. Sometimes
we are so focused on others, we lose sight of
ourselves and what makes us feel good. Sometimes
it seems easier to focus on others than it is to
look at our own life and what really works for us.

The irony is that we are likely better able
to bring joy to the life of others if we
feel it ourselves, first.

So...

Have you found joy in your life?
Has your life brought joy to others?

If not, what can you do to make that happen?
If you're not sure, maybe I can help. Talk
to me about it the next time we speak.

Have a great day!

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There's Always More

My friend, who went to a National Park, was
telling me some more stories of things that
happened in his travels.

One interesting tidbit was when he was hiking
one day. He had spent 7 hours hiking up, and
was on his way down. He was tired, wet (there
were some beautiful waterfalls) and sweaty.
He was in a hurry to get to where he could
take a shower, relax, and take care of himself.

He passed a couple with a young child, and
as he passed, going pretty quickly, the
woman made some snide remarks about how
beautiful things were, and about how one
couldn't take the time to actually look,
"of course" referring indirectly to my
friend.

Now while she may have had a well intentioned
point, and while there may be some that will
ignore the surrounding beauty and plow through,
that certainly wasn't the case with my friend.
He even had 100s of pictures to prove that he
had taken his time and enjoyed the beauty.

It made me think about perspective, and how
we can be so sure of another person's
experience when, in fact, we haven't got
a clue. But that doesn't stop us from treating
a person according to our perception.

As common as this is, it is something that is
often overlooked when we are caught up in our
own head and own perspective. If she had
known what my friend's experience was, and
how he was feeling at that moment she may have
not been so quick to judge, and may have even
been glad to know that he had had such a great
day and would have been glad to know that he
was getting to where it was best for him to
be as expediently as possible.

It makes me wonder how often we assign negativity
to something that actually is quite positive.

I wonder if you caught something about the
situation and what I wrote. To some degree
the representation of the events makes it seem
like she was the "bad" guy, while what she
said may have not been targeted toward him
at all, but rather a coincidence of timing.

There is no way to know, and that is part of
the point. However, there may be times we
could be correct, but in times like those,
I seriously doubt a snide comment is going
to have a great impact on another - at least
not in a positive way.

If a person's intention is to be heard, it is
best to speak in a way that another would be
willing to listen, and making someone feel
guilty or bad or wrong for what they've done
may kick in the defense mechanisms. It could
also have a deafening effect or create the
antithesis of the desired result.

I suppose the point is to take in more than
just what is perceived in the moment. There
is likely to be more going on in that person's
world and mind than is readily apparent.

Perhaps it should be even taken a step further.
Perhaps it is none of our business what is
going on in that person's mind and world -
unless they want us to know and/or care what
we may have to say or do about it.

Funny thing is, though...if that was the case,
there wouldn't be much news to report, no gossip
shows or media websites. Wow. We might find
that we need to focus on ourselves and our world
instead. Wouldn't THAT be something?

(Yes. I know there is more to the picture.
There always is.)

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Fix It | Video

So often we go looking to someone else to
"fix" things for us, or tell us how to
fix it for ourselves.

There are a few problems with this, as
first of all, who says a fix is needed?

Secondly, who says another's fix will
work for us?

There are so many people making money
these days by telling others about the
ultimate of fixes. It could be financial,
to lose weight, to stop stress, to be
successful. You name it.

People are told that the way to make
money is to fix another person's problem.
The problem is that if those fixes truly
worked then there really would be no more
problem to fix. Besides, you have to
show/convince them they have a problem
first.

And yet, there is book after book, video
after video, guru after guru telling you
how best to be and live your life. Those
who do the best job making it seem like
they're fixing your problem will likely
get your attention, but they also might
be a part of your disappointment when
it doesn't work, or part of your
rationalization when it doesn't work,
"I must have done it wrong," "what's
wrong with me, it didn't work, but it
did for others."

What if there was nothing wrong in
the first place? What if the failure
really was a lack of acknowledging
the self while paying attention to
another?

Those who will tell you the answer is
within you will likely frustrate the
hell out of you if you are in a place
of "I haven't got a clue!" At least
that is what has happened to me on more
than one occasion.

There have been times I have been desperate
for an answer, but there was no one who
could give it to me. The worst thing
someone can do for me is to try to give
me an answer that isn't for me. Ever
have that experience? You often know
what the answer is not, even if you don't
know what it IS.

Sometimes I think I give people the impression
that I know a lot, and perhaps I do. But
there are so many questions I have myself
about the things in life that just don't
seem to work.

What I am coming to realize is that we've
been hypnotized into believing that there
is an answer for everything. We have been
hypnotized to believe that things that don't
seem to work need to be fixed. We have been
hypnotized to believe that where we are in
this moment is not the right one, when in
actuality, it might be the perfect one.

Yes there are ways to look at things that
can help us move and do and be different -
if that is what WE want to do. But maybe
the key is to know - at least in some small
way - when it is a time to be in that place,
and bathe in it. Maybe we are exactly
where and how we need to be to get exactly
what we need. Some of the more challenging
times of my life have become some of my
greatest gifts.

In the midst of something you are struggling
with no one is going to be able to tell you
"this is a gift," and you suddenly are going
to go,"Oh, yes. You are right. I need to
be different now." If you did, the gift
would never arrive, as it is the process of
working through wherever you are at that
moment that will be the gift, and it is
nothing that anyone can give you.

Perhaps the key is to know that within you
is the answer, but to use those things outside
of yourself as guides. Go ahead and listen
to people, and read books, and view videos,
and listen in a way that you measure it
against who you are and who you think you
want to be. See if what another says rings
true for you, or if it seems to be at conflict.
Bounce it around, play with it, and see what
you come with. Maybe your Slot A is best
filled with Tab D. Maybe Liquid X mixed
with Liquid Y is volatile.

Maybe life is about learning to listen to
ourselves, and learning about ourselves.
Maybe the best way to learn is to have
those things we can compare and contrast
ourselves with. How in the world could
something outside of us know the answer
better than something inside of us? It
doesn't really make any sense, does it?
And yet countless times, without thinking,
we will find ourselves letting someone
else guide us to a place that may not
ultimately be to our benefit.

Maybe it is time that we were willing to
take a look at things in a different way.

Maybe it is time to consider that who and
how we are is the person that we need to
be, and that who we do become will be a
person that is built upon the foundation
we have built with all of its cracks and
seeming imperfections.

Maybe it is time to consider that all
answers aren't immediate, and that some
take more time and patience than we want
to have, or think we should have.

Maybe it is time to let ourselves flounder
a bit; perhaps jumping into things isn't
helping us, but rather taking us away
from the things we need to learn.

Maybe a possible mistake we make is thinking
that someone knows us better than we
know ourselves.

Maybe who we are is just perfect,
and perhaps we can let ourselves
relax, just a little.

And, maybe...

What I have written doesn't do anything
for you at all. Maybe you think otherwise,
and it works for you. If so, it sounds
perfect to me. :)

Last, but not least, here is a bit of
humor on the "fixit" mentality. I think
it speaks to what is really going on
under the surface of the illusion that
we always know how and what to fix and
how best to fix it.



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Trying to Please Everyone? (Read this)

You're never going to please everyone.

You might be one way, and a person
will feel wonderful around you.

You might be around another person
and be the same way, and that
person feels uncomfortable.

When you don't know who you are,
or feel insecure or not confident,
it may be easy to be swayed by the
winds of another.

Don't do it.

Well.
I suggest you don't do it.

The more willing you are to take a
stand for who you are, foibles and all,
the more likely you will find the people
and situations who will like you just
the way you are - give or take a little, LOL.
(No one's that perfect).

For a long time I had difficulty being
who I am, as it seemed that I didn't
really "fit." I was often the odd one
out, and yet, it seemed that people who
took the time to pay attention to me
one on one seemed to appreciate who
I was.

It is easy to wonder "what is wrong
with me?" when you don't have a clear
sense of not only who you are, but that
who you are is just perfect the way
you are.

It has taken some doing, and now I
can finally say I am OK with who I am.
It sucks when it doesn't fit, but
at least I don't try to make it fit,
try to change, and I lose less energy
over it because I can walk away faster.

Coming to that place has helped me
when carving out my place in the
world as well as in more personal
ways, like when I have profiles
on dating sites (where all kinds
of anonymous guys have given me
"helpful," conflicting advice,
and where I am told how wonderful
I am in one email and how scary
I am in another, LOL).

Sometimes I am even at the point
of laughter when someone tries to
tell me how to be (a complete
stranger, mind you) in the guise
of being helpful.

Interesting how - without awareness -
the world in which we live we believe
to be THE world. Of course then it
would help if the world would conform
to our way of looking at things.

Why is it that we haven't yet gotten
the idea that there is no ONE world
and no ONE way of looking at things
that works for everyone? Why does
that seem so difficult to attain?
We have example after example of how
that DOESN'T work.

The wind's blowing yet again...are
you going to be blown by it?

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