Give Yourself a Break

When you're in the middle of beating
yourself up, there is rarely any
rational thinking.

In the midst of pain, anger, and
disappointment it is easy to be
blinded to anything helpful.

It is the times in between those
moments that we have opportunities
for perspectives that will help us
at those times when we are our most
vulnerable.

Often we don't like that term:
vulnerable.  We don't like the
idea that we can't be as strong
as we need to be.  However consider
that by allowing yourself to have
support in a time of need, you are
making yourself strong.

Structures have supports that allow
them to stand, why would we think
that our structure isn't the same?

Why did we ever decide that we were
weak because we may at times be
stronger when supported?

Today I am thoughtful about this
because someone I know is having
a crisis and as I have helped, I
am reminded about how many humans
(including myself) can be.

We have trip wires that can be
counterproductive to what we think
we are doing while we are busy
beating ourselves up.

Sometimes you'll be your best self,
and it won't be "enough."

Sometimes you'll do the best you can,
and it won't be "enough."

Sometimes you'll do all that you are able,
and it won't be "enough."

Sometimes who you are won't fit the
situation in the way you think it needs
to for the outcome you desire.

Sometimes you'll want to control
everything, but feel like you control
nothing.

Sometimes life sucks.

Human beings sometimes strive for a level
of perfection that could never exist.  We
can never be all things to all people at
all times in all places...and yet, the
minute something goes wrong we kick
ourselves because somehow we should have
been able to be just that.

Even if we could somehow seem to be that
perfect, I suspect that there would be some
other standard above that, given the way we
seem to be wired.  So odds are we would
set ourselves up to fail, as we'd never
be enough as long as there is some standard
we haven't met, that we never could meet.

Sometimes our pain and grief and anger can
play a role in getting through, and sometimes
it is destructive.  Sometimes it can motivate,
other times it can make someone immobile.

I wish I knew how to "make things right" when
things seem to go wrong.  But...

Sometimes life will suck. 
Sometimes we will suck.
Sometimes we'll disappoint.
Sometimes we'll be disappointed.

We can demand all the certainty
we want in life.  The problem is: 
we live in an uncertain world.

The next time something happens
and you are tempted to beat yourself
up go a few rounds, if you must.

But realize that beating yourself
up doesn't change a thing on the
inside.  As odd as it may sound,
you are always likely doing the
best you can at any given moment.

Give yourself a break.