Life, Death & Regret

The health of the father of someone I know
is failing, potentially fast. He has been
on a roller coaster ride (both my friend
and his father) the last year and a half.

It has been difficult to watch what is
happening as a friend, and at a respectful
and yet hopefully supportive distance.

The issues of life and death are
difficult to address on so many levels,
and yet it is one that we all must face
in one way or another at one time
or another.

I don't know about you, but things like
this make me take a step back and look at
life. His father apparently feels much
regret for things not done, and what he
perceives to be his inadequacies.

I am sure it is easy to look back on
things and think "if only I..."

I can only imagine that things to get in
times like this include becoming more
aware of NOW of this moment, of making
choices suited to who and what we are
and who and what we want to be.

Being resigned and giving into what
might appear to be the futility of a
circumstance certainly doesn't seem
to give anyone anything but potential
fodder for future regret.

Taking responsibility for this moment
it would seem is one of the most
valuable things we can do for ourselves.
It allows us to see choices even when
it would seem none exist. At the very
least, we have the choice as to how we
handle a situation.

When we live life like there is always
another tomorrow, it can be painful to
realize that at some point tomorrows
run out.

I know someone who believes that not a
single moment of life is promised us,
and that having an appreciation of our
mortality, we will be able to more
fully embrace what we do right now.

I promised myself on the precipice of
a major decision that I would be
without regret - no matter what
happened. I wasn't happy with the
results, but the beauty of my promise
was that I fully embraced the moment -
warts and all, and can look back without
any regret about what I chose to do.

Had I decided not to take the action,
I suppose I could have made the same
promise, but I would have likely have
wondered, "What if...?"

I knew I didn't want to look back and
wonder "what if," and my promise kept
me from any potential regret from what
I chose to do.

It was one of the most powerful times
of my life, and a lesson that I have
never forgotten.

I do things sometimes that people
(myself sometimes included) don't
understand, but I am doing what I
feel in my heart I must do. I can
only hope when my departure time
comes it comes with me knowing that
I have done all that I could with
what I had.

It's hard to know what the best
and right thing is to do, but
when we listen to our heart, we
can find our own best direction.

I would suspect regret often is
a function of not listening to
that inner guidance, that nudging.

I would suspect our mind tries to
steer us to be logical in the face
of what might seem to make no sense,
only to later have to face - with
regret - the memory of an opportunity
lost.

We only get to be here together for
a relatively short time in the grand
scheme of things, so (while this may
sound like a greeting card) my wish
for you is a life filled with love
and purpose and devoid of regret.