Had an interesting call recently. It was one of
those pre-recorded deals. Not sure why I was
on their list, and maybe *I* wasn't, maybe it
was for someone who used to have my number.
It was a guy's voice. Very stern. Sounded
like he was from Massachusetts. He was saying
that it was "100% certain" that if I was over
60 years old and I was alone at home that I
would have a stroke, heart attack, accident,
or fall.
He then was nice enough to repeat the "100%
certain" part.
He was selling fear in the guise of a home
alert system.
Two questions that come to mind are:
* No one over 60 can live safely and without
incident? Really? (What about those under 60?
Are they not able to be scared or manipulated
as easily? Nothing ever happens to them?)
* How can he be so certain that it *will*
happen, unless he is hypnotizing someone
into thinking it will happen?
It sounds to me like preying on a person's
fears, rather than helping to support
another and make a difference for someone
and their needs.
I am sure many things can be useful and
helpful, but I find some of these tactics
abhorrent...especially if words are used
to influence actions based on unconscious
fears.
Then he also said, "Press 1 for more
information now" 3! times.
Alert the fear, create a suggestive state,
tell the person what to do, and...wallah!
You have a sale. Yuck.
We gotta do better than this. I don't
usually say things like that. But can't
we take better care of our neighbors
without scaring and manipulating them?
Maybe that's the problem. I'm thinking
more of the people than the money.
What do you think?
Saturday, August 7, 2010
How do you eat an elephant?
Sequoia Trees are huge trees, but they didn't get
that way over night. Each moment another part of
the tree grew in relation to what was already there.
If what we are growing is something we want, it is
worth the wait, as there is a foundation for what
we come to have.
Sometimes we just want to get things "over with"
because we don't want to face what seems to be the
enormity of it all. It's too bad that things don't
often - and actually quite rarely - work that way.
At the same time, we underestimate the value of what
we are building upon. It is a paradox that one is never
at a destination without simultaneously beginning a
new journey. If unable to see that, what is happening
might seem like one very long, overwhelming journey
in which you never feel like you are making any progress.
Journeys have unexpected events. It is inherent in
what a journey is about. No way to truly know
something until you are in the midst of it.
As with pretty much everything, how we interact
with things in life can also apply to one's hypnotic
experience. I often find that there is an impatience
on some people's part for things to happen.
The best thing you can do is take one step at a
time, and interact with things as they happen.
You could anticipate what you think might happen,
but odds are you still may be surprised, and the
moment will take care of itself. It can be times
like that that magic seems to happen.
Allowing life (or a hypnotic experience) to unfold
can be quite difficult if you always want things
figured out before you even start. About the only
thing that you can have some certainty about from
moment to moment is that you will take the next step
along the way, and while there may be some leaps,
most of them will be likely be small; and I bettcha
if you do that you'll be exactly where you want to
be before you know it. ;)
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
Things that make you go hmmmm...
People who know me know how much I get
upset when people are manipulated by the
likes of those who are adept at hypnotic
technique and NLP.
Occasionally I will see something that I
think is questionable. I know exactly what
the person is doing, and it troubles me.
For instance, I once saw a blog entry about
the "dangers of conversational hypnosis"
which ever so conveniently linked to a
program on how to do conversational
hypnosis. How much you want to bet it's an
affiliate link?
When you tell someone about something like
this, the danger almost always often is a
call to investigate further.
I have said for quite some time that people
CAN be manipulated with hypnotic technique,
and it concerns me that there are those who
are teaching others how to do it, claiming
that it's not the tool that is troubling,
but the people who use it. I even heard one
such person's audio which said that if you
were unethical you should not buy his program.
All I can say to that is, "Puhleassse." If
someone didn't know what he was doing, they
might think how wonderful that he was discouraging
misuse. Do you really think someone unethical
would care about what he was saying? Besides
the fact that how he was saying it, was only
encouraging anyone and everyone listening to
buy his offering.
And all I can say to you is do what you can
to become aware about what is possible. The
more aware you are, the less likely it is
that you could be manipulated. Sadly, I do
not believe there is any way to truly and
completely guard against abuse, but it is a
start.
Be well and be safe.
upset when people are manipulated by the
likes of those who are adept at hypnotic
technique and NLP.
Occasionally I will see something that I
think is questionable. I know exactly what
the person is doing, and it troubles me.
For instance, I once saw a blog entry about
the "dangers of conversational hypnosis"
which ever so conveniently linked to a
program on how to do conversational
hypnosis. How much you want to bet it's an
affiliate link?
When you tell someone about something like
this, the danger almost always often is a
call to investigate further.
I have said for quite some time that people
CAN be manipulated with hypnotic technique,
and it concerns me that there are those who
are teaching others how to do it, claiming
that it's not the tool that is troubling,
but the people who use it. I even heard one
such person's audio which said that if you
were unethical you should not buy his program.
All I can say to that is, "Puhleassse." If
someone didn't know what he was doing, they
might think how wonderful that he was discouraging
misuse. Do you really think someone unethical
would care about what he was saying? Besides
the fact that how he was saying it, was only
encouraging anyone and everyone listening to
buy his offering.
And all I can say to you is do what you can
to become aware about what is possible. The
more aware you are, the less likely it is
that you could be manipulated. Sadly, I do
not believe there is any way to truly and
completely guard against abuse, but it is a
start.
Be well and be safe.
A Good Kind of Exhaustion
Have you ever really wanted something really bad?
Have you done all that you could to make it happen,
even if didn't? Have you said all there is to
say?
I came across this today, and I thought it an
interesting statement that I made to someone in
a letter:
"I have done all that I can. I have exhausted
every avenue, every option, every street, every
thing...so much so I stand here feeling empty
and yet complete."
The beauty is that it was a situation that I
very much wanted to turn out differently than it
did, however I found peace in the fact that I
said and did everything I could.
Communication is a beautiful and powerful thing.
Have you done all that you could to make it happen,
even if didn't? Have you said all there is to
say?
I came across this today, and I thought it an
interesting statement that I made to someone in
a letter:
"I have done all that I can. I have exhausted
every avenue, every option, every street, every
thing...so much so I stand here feeling empty
and yet complete."
The beauty is that it was a situation that I
very much wanted to turn out differently than it
did, however I found peace in the fact that I
said and did everything I could.
Communication is a beautiful and powerful thing.
Tornado Meets Volcano* | Video
Ask anyone who has been in an abusive relationship why they
stayed, odds are if they didn't say something like, "I love her,"
he would likely tell you he didn't know why.
Dysfunction of any type that has this "pull," seems inexplicable,
seems unable to escape or change, has its own polarity and
magnet...and it is called the unconscious or subconscious.
It is the part of the person that drives them to do certain things,
even if they are violent or hurtful to one's self or others.
I don't know that I could say this is a 100% kind of way,
however it would seem to me to be a very high percentage of
the time.
For some, love is pain. Love is arguing. Love is fighting and
making up. The definition of love depends very much on the
individual's experience of what s/he believed to be love, and
the associations s/he made. The person then makes choices
to find love in the only way it knows how.
(There are other factors, as well...hard to have a comprehensive
conversation of a complex topic in a short blog entry.)
Eminem's song/video below is intense. It speaks to the most
violent of relationships, however, there are all kinds of abuse,
and some of the worst isn't even as obvious as being mistreated
physically. Just because there is no physical experience of
mistreatment doesn't mean that a person isn't mistreated.
Some people are good at manipulating others with just their
words...and it's a form of influence, and perhaps even hypnosis
of the non-trance kind. When that is added to the mix it
becomes a form of suggestion, and makes a bad situation
even more difficult to extricate oneself from.
Some people may read this or view the video and go, "huh?"
I noticed there were some comments on YouTube, as some
didn't understand that message of the music. In some way
they may even be like those who believe they could never be
hypnotized to do something detrimental and believe that
hypnosis isn't really real, and don't understand how some
could get into the difficulties they do.
Hopefully they will never truly understand the message from
a personal experience point of view, but perhaps they can
still have some form of understanding and/or compassion
for another who knows all too well what it means.
If you find yourself stuck, you CAN get unstuck. Is it likely
to be easy? Probably not...but with enough desire, you can
find your way. Better yet, afterward you'll wonder why you
didn't leave sooner. When that happens celebrate the
perspective, and be kind to yourself...you did the best you
could with who you were at that moment in time.
*curious about the title of this blog? Be sure to watch video,
reference at 3:19.
stayed, odds are if they didn't say something like, "I love her,"
he would likely tell you he didn't know why.
Dysfunction of any type that has this "pull," seems inexplicable,
seems unable to escape or change, has its own polarity and
magnet...and it is called the unconscious or subconscious.
It is the part of the person that drives them to do certain things,
even if they are violent or hurtful to one's self or others.
I don't know that I could say this is a 100% kind of way,
however it would seem to me to be a very high percentage of
the time.
For some, love is pain. Love is arguing. Love is fighting and
making up. The definition of love depends very much on the
individual's experience of what s/he believed to be love, and
the associations s/he made. The person then makes choices
to find love in the only way it knows how.
(There are other factors, as well...hard to have a comprehensive
conversation of a complex topic in a short blog entry.)
Eminem's song/video below is intense. It speaks to the most
violent of relationships, however, there are all kinds of abuse,
and some of the worst isn't even as obvious as being mistreated
physically. Just because there is no physical experience of
mistreatment doesn't mean that a person isn't mistreated.
Some people are good at manipulating others with just their
words...and it's a form of influence, and perhaps even hypnosis
of the non-trance kind. When that is added to the mix it
becomes a form of suggestion, and makes a bad situation
even more difficult to extricate oneself from.
Some people may read this or view the video and go, "huh?"
I noticed there were some comments on YouTube, as some
didn't understand that message of the music. In some way
they may even be like those who believe they could never be
hypnotized to do something detrimental and believe that
hypnosis isn't really real, and don't understand how some
could get into the difficulties they do.
Hopefully they will never truly understand the message from
a personal experience point of view, but perhaps they can
still have some form of understanding and/or compassion
for another who knows all too well what it means.
If you find yourself stuck, you CAN get unstuck. Is it likely
to be easy? Probably not...but with enough desire, you can
find your way. Better yet, afterward you'll wonder why you
didn't leave sooner. When that happens celebrate the
perspective, and be kind to yourself...you did the best you
could with who you were at that moment in time.
*curious about the title of this blog? Be sure to watch video,
reference at 3:19.
Give Yourself a Break
When you're in the middle of beating
yourself up, there is rarely any
rational thinking.
In the midst of pain, anger, and
disappointment it is easy to be
blinded to anything helpful.
It is the times in between those
moments that we have opportunities
for perspectives that will help us
at those times when we are our most
vulnerable.
Often we don't like that term:
vulnerable. We don't like the
idea that we can't be as strong
as we need to be. However consider
that by allowing yourself to have
support in a time of need, you are
making yourself strong.
Structures have supports that allow
them to stand, why would we think
that our structure isn't the same?
Why did we ever decide that we were
weak because we may at times be
stronger when supported?
Today I am thoughtful about this
because someone I know is having
a crisis and as I have helped, I
am reminded about how many humans
(including myself) can be.
We have trip wires that can be
counterproductive to what we think
we are doing while we are busy
beating ourselves up.
Sometimes you'll be your best self,
and it won't be "enough."
Sometimes you'll do the best you can,
and it won't be "enough."
Sometimes you'll do all that you are able,
and it won't be "enough."
Sometimes who you are won't fit the
situation in the way you think it needs
to for the outcome you desire.
Sometimes you'll want to control
everything, but feel like you control
nothing.
Sometimes life sucks.
Human beings sometimes strive for a level
of perfection that could never exist. We
can never be all things to all people at
all times in all places...and yet, the
minute something goes wrong we kick
ourselves because somehow we should have
been able to be just that.
Even if we could somehow seem to be that
perfect, I suspect that there would be some
other standard above that, given the way we
seem to be wired. So odds are we would
set ourselves up to fail, as we'd never
be enough as long as there is some standard
we haven't met, that we never could meet.
Sometimes our pain and grief and anger can
play a role in getting through, and sometimes
it is destructive. Sometimes it can motivate,
other times it can make someone immobile.
I wish I knew how to "make things right" when
things seem to go wrong. But...
Sometimes life will suck.
Sometimes we will suck.
Sometimes we'll disappoint.
Sometimes we'll be disappointed.
We can demand all the certainty
we want in life. The problem is:
we live in an uncertain world.
The next time something happens
and you are tempted to beat yourself
up go a few rounds, if you must.
But realize that beating yourself
up doesn't change a thing on the
inside. As odd as it may sound,
you are always likely doing the
best you can at any given moment.
Give yourself a break.
yourself up, there is rarely any
rational thinking.
In the midst of pain, anger, and
disappointment it is easy to be
blinded to anything helpful.
It is the times in between those
moments that we have opportunities
for perspectives that will help us
at those times when we are our most
vulnerable.
Often we don't like that term:
vulnerable. We don't like the
idea that we can't be as strong
as we need to be. However consider
that by allowing yourself to have
support in a time of need, you are
making yourself strong.
Structures have supports that allow
them to stand, why would we think
that our structure isn't the same?
Why did we ever decide that we were
weak because we may at times be
stronger when supported?
Today I am thoughtful about this
because someone I know is having
a crisis and as I have helped, I
am reminded about how many humans
(including myself) can be.
We have trip wires that can be
counterproductive to what we think
we are doing while we are busy
beating ourselves up.
Sometimes you'll be your best self,
and it won't be "enough."
Sometimes you'll do the best you can,
and it won't be "enough."
Sometimes you'll do all that you are able,
and it won't be "enough."
Sometimes who you are won't fit the
situation in the way you think it needs
to for the outcome you desire.
Sometimes you'll want to control
everything, but feel like you control
nothing.
Sometimes life sucks.
Human beings sometimes strive for a level
of perfection that could never exist. We
can never be all things to all people at
all times in all places...and yet, the
minute something goes wrong we kick
ourselves because somehow we should have
been able to be just that.
Even if we could somehow seem to be that
perfect, I suspect that there would be some
other standard above that, given the way we
seem to be wired. So odds are we would
set ourselves up to fail, as we'd never
be enough as long as there is some standard
we haven't met, that we never could meet.
Sometimes our pain and grief and anger can
play a role in getting through, and sometimes
it is destructive. Sometimes it can motivate,
other times it can make someone immobile.
I wish I knew how to "make things right" when
things seem to go wrong. But...
Sometimes life will suck.
Sometimes we will suck.
Sometimes we'll disappoint.
Sometimes we'll be disappointed.
We can demand all the certainty
we want in life. The problem is:
we live in an uncertain world.
The next time something happens
and you are tempted to beat yourself
up go a few rounds, if you must.
But realize that beating yourself
up doesn't change a thing on the
inside. As odd as it may sound,
you are always likely doing the
best you can at any given moment.
Give yourself a break.
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