What if...

What if...
you're not in a relationship because
you're not in a relationship?

What if...
you're not talking to your brother because
you're not talking to your brother?

What if...
you're not making more money because
you're not making more money?

What if...
you're taking the vacation because
you want to take the vacation?

What if...?

Some would believe there is something
"wrong" with you if you're not in a
relationship.

Some would give you a hard time if you're
not talking to your brother. What did
YOU do wrong?

Some would say you're not motivated,
or not working hard enough, if you're
not making more money.

Some would say it's not wise to take
that vacation for money reasons, or
maybe where you want to go is not where
you should go.

Sometimes those with the best of
intentions will tell us what to
do, when to do it, and how best to do
it, and if we don't listen - and things
aren't the way we think they should be -
then there has to be something wrong
with us.

If someone wants to be in a relationship,
and isn't, that is the only explanation
there is, isn't there? After all, we
always all get what we want, don't we,
and if we don't, we certainly have to
be standing in our own way, right?

What if...life just sometimes doesn't
seem to cooperate? What if...life has
other ideas? What if...the masterpiece
takes time to create?

I don't know about you, but I find it
very difficult to live in a world in
which our seeming ability or inability
to have something becomes a judgment
when all it might be is a "fact."

What if...we stopped to take people
where they were and just supported and
loved them instead of judging them?
I suspect then that those who don't
have something they want, and have
frustrations they don't want, would
then perhaps have a little more peace.

After all...if something isn't happening
the way they'd like it to, it doesn't
necessarily mean they're missing anything,
or need to be fixed, and your impressions
to the contrary may only add to the
unpleasant and uncomfortable mix.

This is not to say sometimes we might need
a kick in the butt, or need a change of
venue or scenery, but the person who is
in the best position to guage that is in
the life you might think you know how
best to live. Unfortunately, your life
and your desires and your circumstances
are not always going to be the same for
another, and your solution - as wonderful
as it may seem to be - may not be a
solution at all.

What if...we only sought to help when a
person sought our assistance?

What if...others allowed us to be responsible
to ourselves and our choices and allowed us
to be OK with our own disappointments, without
feeling in some way that WE were a disappointment,
too?

The fact is
sometimes things just happen.

The fact is
sometimes things don't happen.

The fact is
we may just have to be disappointed sometimes.

The fact is
we can't always have what we want,
how we want it,
with who we want it,
when we want it

and the fact is...
that odds are quite good that
despite other's judgments and
concerns, and intentions, if
who you are and what you do
works for you, then it might
just be where you need to be
right here, right now.

And, and another potential fact is...
It might just suck.

Where did we ever get the
idea that we as human beings
would know all the answers?
It seems it would be at the
same time that not knowing
all the answers, and/or not
being able to "fix" our
circumstances became a problem,
or made us one.

Maybe who you are is perfect.

Odds are good, too, that
you've been on both sides
of this fence. Perhaps this
conversation will have you
look at things a bit differently
going forward.

Most people would likely say
"love" is their motivation for
helping. If one truly loves
another, s/he will love in
spite of another's seeming
imperfections.

Of course there are extremes,
and there are exceptions,
however I'd say that there is
likely much more middle ground
than most are likely to give.

What do you think?
 
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